Sir A Loan?


I packed my Mac Book Pro and undocked the shiny new iPod touch. These two will help me survive in a weekend of no-network remote villages! I need to touch highway before the sunrise to avoid the rushing traffic. The destination is a village near Mangalore to chill out the weekend. Moreover that, an excuse to be with my new babe –my first car!
Dumping the baggage into the boot, I got absorbed into the plush seats of Figo. My first long ride in my first four-wheeler. The red lighted dashboard was reflecting the sky before sunrise. With a proud grin, I started the engine..
Trrrr..Trrr.. Trrrrrrrrr Trrr.. Trrr.. Trrrrrrr
The red dashboard blurred into yellow. Oh yeah, that’s my bedspread. Rubbing my eyes, I reached for the vibrating phone.. A weekend morning dream got spoiled!
*Unknown*: Hello Sir!
Me: Hello. *With a bit more of bass.*
*Unknown*: Am I speaking to Mr. Srijith?
Me: Yea. It’s Srijith here. May I know who is this?
*Unknown*: Sir, I called to talk about an important matter. You can now..
Me: <interrupting> Ok, but who is this?
*Unkown*: Sir, I am Raghu from Bajaj Auto Finance.I called to let you know that you have received special..
Me: <interrupting> What’s wrong with you guys to call at early morning? Ain’t you from Indian Time?
Raghu: But.. Sir.. But it’s 9.30 AM already. We start our calls from 8.30 AM
Me: Err.. Sorry.. I was ..leave it. Ok. I am not interested.
Raghu: But.. sir I haven’t even told about what you are not interested in.
Me: I know! I have been regular in paying back your loan. So I am now eligible for another loan. Isn’t it?
Raghu: Exactly sir! You are a genius!
Me: Nope, I already got the same call last week and rejected the offer.
Raghu: Then to surprise you sir, we called you now to let you know that you have received a special pampering from Bajaj Auto Finance.
Me: Special what???
Raghu: Special.. Special offer sir!
Me: So if I reject this again, will you come up with an even better *pampering*?
Raghu: No Sir. This is exclusively for selected people. You are now eligible for a personal loan of up to 63454 Rupees and a lot of other packages along with it.
Me: 63454!
Raghu: We will be providing this at a flat interest rate of 22.23 % per annum. That means you will have to pay only around 2200 Rs per month for 36 months.
Me: Thanks for the *Good* offer! But I am not interested. Thank you!
Raghu: Sir.. No! Wait. The list is not yet over.
Me: What?
Raghu: Along with this we provide you free accident insurance worth 5 lakh and the premium we pay for you is tax deductible.
Me: Fine again. But I ain’t looking for a personal loan now in the first place!
Raghu: Sir, but once you hear the full list of offers you WILL take the loan!
Me: I WILL take the loan when I WANT it. Why should I take a loan and pay EMI when I am not in need of it
Raghu: Sir, you will get tax exemption by insurance premium along with it.
Me: Don’t make me fool! I pay 2200 per month to get tax exemption of 5000 year? Listen, I am done with this. I am not looking for a personal loan now. Thanks and bye
I hung up the phone then when I realized that’s the only option to withdraw from the conversation. Right when I was to crawl under the sheet to press the play button on my dream, the phone started ringing again.
Me: Hello
*Unknown*: Sir, I am calling from Bajaj Auto Finance..
Me: Didn’t you get it? I DONT want your loan now!
*Unknown*: Sir sorry. I am the lead of the one who called you before.
Me: huh!
Lead: I called you to apologize for the previous call. Sorry for disturbing you sir.
Me: Oh! No problem. Sorry for hanging up too. I was sleepy.
Lead: That’s okay sir. Sir, so you are not interested in the offers Raghu said.
Me: Not about the offers, I am not interested in another loan at this time.
Lead: Sir, I can give you some extra offers and some reduction in interest rates. If you take a personal loan now from us,
Me: What the fuck!
Switched it off and I started dreaming my yet to be bought gadgets and car..

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